31 Signs That Your Children May Be Possessed

Jelani Clay Healthy Kids 1 Comment

Every Kid's A Genius: Lesson 1 - The only music smart kids listen to.

Help, my children may be possessed!

How To Find Out If Your Child Is Possessed

Happy Halloween. Have you ever asked yourself, “Is my child possessed?” Surprisingly the answer may be yes in a lot of situations. In honor or Halloween we’ve listed the 31 signs to tell if your children may be possessed.

1. They freak out for no reason at all.

Possessed Children: AHHHHHH!!!! Possessed Children.

2. They are unusually violent.


3. They scream profanities, sometimes in other languages.

4. They throw things across the room that they normally eat or play with.

5. They can levitate.

6. Their heads spin.

7. They can projectile vomit 7 feet or more with accuracy and precision.

Possessed Children: Vomit

8. They stare into your soul while you move around the room without moving their head.

Possessed Children: Samuel L Jackson angry stare

9. They talk in a deep loud voice.

10. They laugh without smiling.

Possessed Children: Hahahaha

11. They keep looking at something beside you that you can’t see.

12. You hear them talking but when you come around, they stop like they weren’t.

13. They drink a glass of juice while keeping a straight face and looking you in your eye.

14. They answer you before you even ask a question.

15. They go from 0 to 100 real quick.

16. Objects in the room are speaking to them.

Possessed Children: Talking Obect

17. They draw disturbing images.

Possessed Children: The Taking Boy

18. They just appear out of darkness and walk away like nothing happened.

19. They point at you and whisper, “Your soul is mine!”

Possessed Children: Your Soul Is Mine

20. They can do the Thriller dance routine, but have never seen Thriller.

21. They never blink, ever.

22. They quickly run across your room in the background where you think you heard something, but you really didn’t.

23. They are unusually strong.

24. You never see them eat but the food is gone.

25. They don’t cry if getting a whooping, they just look you in the eye.

Possessed Children: Hi I'm Chucky and I'm Your Friend Til The End

26. When you go to wake them up in the morning, they sit up suddenly from under the covers and say good morning with a creepy smile.

Possessed Children: Ha ha Tales From the Crypt

27. When you tell them good night, they say, “No, it’s goodbye.”

28. You wake up in the middle of the night to see them watching you from the doorway. You look again and they’re gone.

29. They sit in a chair in the middle of a dark room and laugh.

30. They won’t wake you, only stand over you calmly until you open your eyes.

31. They itch but never scratch.

So what do I do if my children really are possessed?

I don’t know. Sucks for you! Happy Halloween.

Every Kid's A Genius: Lesson 1

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Comments 1

  1. This is the stupidest [removed for language], I ever heard, poor kids. They need protection of your ignorant brain…. Their probably being [removed for language] by one of [removed for language] and your looking for a magical explanation to normalized their behavior, look deeper it may be your husband…..

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